I get the paper every day. I don’t usually have time to read it, so it piles up and then I have guilt about getting it and not reading it. I’ve decided to start reading it, or at least scanning through it and reading the stories that catch my eye, so it’s not a waste getting it and because I thought that might give me some more writing ideas.
Today I learned that we have a new planet. After snubbing Pluto five years ago, wholly deserved in my opinion, NASA has discovered a new planet called Tyche. It is apparently a gas giant, beyond the Oort Cloud. It hasn’t been officially classified as a planet, that’s up to the International Astronomical Union, but might be soon. Or eventually.
I was also reminded that the space shuttle Discovery is scheduled to launch today for the very last time. It just made me sad. This is the beginning of the end for our shuttle program. Pretty soon we won’t have any space vehicles in use. It’s the first time in 60 years that will be the case. This is progress? I know that there has been talk about a new program, but I don’t see that really happening given that we don’t seem to be funding things that don’t blow up these days. I can’t help but think that it might be smarter to find a way to leave the planet before finding more ways to destroy it entirely, but that might just be me. I don’t know. I rarely see the logic in our government’s decisions. Possibly because “logic” and “government” no longer belong in the same sentence.
Today is the day. Today I start editing my book. I have put it off, but I need to start doing it. I’m not sure why I keep avoiding it. It could be that I was so sick of it after November that I’m afraid I still won’t want to look at it. It could be that I am afraid that the fact that I was so sick of it means it wasn’t any good. It could just be laziness. It’s hard to say. Whatever the reason, I need to set it aside and just jump in. It is time. It’s either good or it’s not, but leaving it sitting on a shelf gathering dust doesn’t prove either. What’s the point of spending a month writing 50,000 words if I don’t at least re-read it? Even if it’s not usable as a book, it was an accomplishment and I want to see how it turned out. Not just the word count, but the story too.
If it turns out to be terrible, I’m actually ok with that. It is the first time I’ve written anything that long. It was awesome just to prove to myself that I could. If it’s no good, maybe there are ideas or characters in it that can be salvaged, or it can go in my file. I won’t toss it, because it’s an accomplishment and I won’t discount that. That’s really what’s important to me. Before that, I never thought I could do this. I never thought I could keep up a blog, or write articles or stories to sell. I always wanted to write, but thought of that as something other people were able to do, not me. I was just kidding myself thinking it was a possibility.
Writing that book made me remember how much I enjoy writing. It reminded me of the way, when I was in school, I would get lost writing a story. The world around me would go away. It would become white noise in the background, and I would be entirely absorbed by what I was doing. I used to love that feeling. That was when I knew my writing was going well. Those were the stories I would hand in and get back with an “A” on them, or not get back at all because the teacher/professor wanted to hold on to them as an example for other classes. That was a nice bonus, but it was the feeling I got while writing that was the real prize. I was missing that in my life, and this book gave it back to me. For that reason alone, I’ll always consider it a success.
Now if it turns out to be writing gold, and becomes a huge commercial success, I’m certainly not going to complain. Let’s face it, I’m a huge sell-out. No turning down big publishing for the integrity of my “art” for me. Name your price. I have bills to pay.
If nobody likes my writing but me, that’s ok too. I’m still going to write. Are you?